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Sorry for the lack of an update yesterday. It’s amazing what you’ll miss when you don’t even have time to turn the damn computer on. That’s why this entry is DOUBLE-SIZED!!!111

CD1
Here is our generation’s attempt at creating one of these Christmas compilation CDs. For anyone who doesn’t know what these “Now!” CDs are, they take all the songs you hear on the radio every 5 minutes, no matter what station you’re listening to, and release them all collected on one CD. There are two CDs here, one of “modern” artists, and one of “old” singers. I’ll cover the modern one today, and get the old one tomorrow.
The modern CD starts out with Destiny’s (idiotic step-)Child doing a version of “Carol of the Bells”, which is surprisingly good for such a crappy band. And of course, this CD includes the Mariah Carey song “All I Want for Christmas is You”, a song I’m sure anyone alive today has heard. And it’s got Aaron Neville doing “It Came Upon a Midnight Clear”. I love this guy’s voice. If you’ve never heard him, I’ll describe what it sounds like. You know that sound you get when you make a “BEEEE” sound and hit your throat repeatedly, so it sounds like “BEE-YEE-YEE”? Imagine every sound in the entire song like that. To paraphrase that kid from The Wizard talking about the Nintendo Power Glove, “I love Aaron Neville’s voice. It’s so bad!” This song also features the Kylie Minogue version of “Santa Baby”, which is the only version that actually sounds sexy since Marilyn Monroe covered it.
The reason I put modern in quotes above is that some of these songs aren’t exactly what you would think of as modern (especially not if you’re used to the 5 minute attention span of the Now! CD’s). Elton John, Jimmy Buffet, and my favorite, WHAM! all show up with Christmas songs. And if these guys are “modern”, what fogies lie on the next CD?

CD 2
Well, I promised old singers, we got ‘em. From Louis Armstrong and Dean Martin to Peggy Lee and Kenny Rogers, all these people have been around a while. That doesn’t make them bad, though. The aforementioned Louis Armstrong is a wonderful singer, and his version of “Winter Wonderland” is friendly enough to make you believe he knows what he’s singing about. Chuck Berry sings “Run, Rudolf Run” and it sounds like something Michael J. Fox would sing at the “Christmas Under the Sea” dance. Luciano Pavarotti sings “O Come, All Ye Faithful” and does a fine job. I’d say the oddest one here was Andy Griffith singing “Go Tell It On the Mountain”. I just can’t get used to that guy as anything other than the sheriff of Mayberry. But all these songs sound just fine, except Barbra Streisand. I wouldn’t know what her version of “I’ll Be Home for Christmas” sounds like. I’m not listening to Streisand, not for you, not for anybody.